There's this Beren.stein Bear book called, Too Much TV, that like all their other books provides a valuable lesson to children and parents alike. This particular one, of course, teaches the child to turn off the television and use their imagination to play. I am a particular fan of this book since watching television is a bit of an issue for us.
You see, as an educator, I know too much about kids and their behavior. Studies have shown that too much television is not good for young children. Some believe that ADHD can partially be "caused" by too much watching. While pregnant, I committed to the idea that Builder Boy would not watch television until he was older. I made it eighteen months. And then it wasn't my fault. You see, Remodel Man is a TV watcher. He comes from a family of TV watchers. Often, while at my in-laws house, every TV in the house will be on-and only two people live there. They just need to have the noise and the picture going all the time. Coming from the same gene pool, Remodel Man does this, too. I follow behind and turn off the TV after he leaves the room. The constant noise, constant flickering picture drives me crazy after awhile. Don't get me wrong, I like television, but I also like a good book, or to listen to music, or-gasp!-to have some quiet in the house.
So, while on a rare trip to the grocery store alone, Remodel Man introduced Builder Boy, a mere eighteen months into his life, to the television. Any guesses what his first television experience was? Leave a comment with your guess...and get your mind out of the gutter!
From that point on, it was all downhill. Builder Boy wanted to watch television all the time. Non-stop. I fought it most of the time, but those times that I would wear down, well, wow! You get lots done when the little one is entertained. And so it became easier to give in and get things done. I am racked with guilt constantly, wallowing to my friends at how pathetic I am, yet each day, I find myself giving in again.
And because everything in my life revolves around infertility, there are other feelings of guilt with Builder Boy and his television watching. Here I have been given this amazing gift, my miracle baby, and I am wasting his short little boy life allowing him to watch television instead of making memories with him. He is my only one, my only chance at motherhood-and right now, what is he doing? Watching television while I write this. Then there is the whole "if he had a sibling" issue. When I am around my friends with more than one child, I am amazed at how their children play together. Yes, I know you spend a lot of time refereeing siblings (I have a sister...I know...), but those times when they do play together, those are priceless. Builder Boy doesn't get that. When we go places like the park or a play area, he goes it alone. He curiously watches the other kids, the siblings, play with one another. He attempts to join in, but they usually are pretty exclusive, those sibling clubs. Heck, they have a built in playmate, why bother with a stranger?
What does this have to do with watching TV and too much of it? Well, in the fantasy land that is my mind, I imagine that if there was a sibling, there would be a lot less television watching. I could say, "Play with your brother/sister!" instead of, "I'm busy right now, you'll have to play by yourself." So often, I just don't say it because it sounds so cold and lonely. Instead, I put aside my work, my cleaning, my bill-paying and I play. Much of the time I ask, "Do you want to watch something?" And here we are again, watching too much TV.
I'm so tired of the guilty cycle that infertility takes me on. Parenting alone gives you plenty of guilt, but to add the guilt of not providing a sibling, well, it's just too much sometimes. So, anyone out there have some tried and tested methods of getting an only child to play by themselves while not feeling like you have somehow failed them? Mama Beren.stein could do it. She'd just put her foot down, stand strong, and the little bears would "see the light." Only thing is, she has two kids...
