Everyone is asleep in the house. The cool, night air, a welcome relief from the glaringly hot day, laps into the house. I sit, in the kitchen. The place where I spend most of my days at home. It is a mess and I should be cleaning. But it can wait.
For now, I focus on the positive. The fun summer times we are having as a family. How our summer focus is on family and not the house. Bike rides and trips to the zoo and a visit (twice) to a historic village in town and lots of days and nights at the pool. Play dates with friends and long conversations with kindred spirits who are too far away. Breathing in the clear nights and allowing the sun to soak into the skin. A birthday celebration and time with family and a trip to the sandy beach soon. A mother who gives her everything and more for her family and a grandfather who loves spending time with his grandson at a coffeehouse under a shady tree. Watching the Stars Wars movies, starting with 1 and working our way to "our" Star Wars movies. Ice cream and homemade popsicles and eating dinner on the patio. Veggies and potato packs on the grill and fresh cherries we could eat by the poundful. Reconnecting with close friends and making new ones.
What I will not focus on is my mammogram tomorrow or my aunt's fatigue after her first round of chemo. Builder Boy's breakdown earlier today or Remodel Man's stress. My sister's loneliness or my mother's concern for her family. Our financial stresses or the overwhelming work schedule this week. A school year that has already started with drama and stress and a little bit of comedy. Buying school supplies in mid-July.
No, for tonight, I will focus on the quiet of the night. I will focus on the life we live now. I will focus on the family I have been blessed with and the friends who support us. Because while everyone's asleep, the mind can take me to the bad places, but there is time for those places...or not. I'll focus on the not...
Praying for good test results for you today!
Posted by: Alexis | July 18, 2011 at 10:17 AM
I hope the mammogram went well. I'm glad that you're focusing on the good things. It's hard to stay positive when things look bleak & you've had a string of really bad luck. I'll be thinking of you tonight! (By the way, I'm using a fake name to disguise my 'true identity' (like Superman!) b/c my name is unusual and might be recognizable to anyone you work with. Since you want the blog to be anonymous, I don't want to "out" you. If you don't know who I am, I'm the other person who went to the Milkshake Factory and Aviary with you. And, I share your fear of birds!)
Posted by: Real Housewife of Allegheny Cahnty | July 18, 2011 at 09:10 PM