After our latest loss, when our doctor told us it was over, his also had a small proposition for us...he told us he wanted to do just one more cycle with us, a Lupron flare cycle, that he thought would work for us, but since he knew that money is an issue, he offered to help us out with his end of the finances. We would just pay for our copay for visits and meds. Usually, after a loss or a cycle that didn't work, we would jump at something like that. Desperation can make you impulsive! This time around, however, I didn't feel that way. I wanted to run and never look back. The thought of going through this again made me sick.
So Remodel Man and I decided to take a few weeks to decide. On Friday, I have my follow-up appointment and I need to make a decision on this. You'd think that I'd be able to decide, and I'm pretty sure I know which way I will, but bottom-line is this: I really don't want to do it. My body is tired. My son is seven. I hate the shots (and this cycle there will be more). I hate being late for work and having to leave early. I hate the hope and the subsequent disappointment.
But how can you look a gift horse like this in the mouth?
Just finished catching up with the last few weeks of your blog. So sorry for your loss. And I can completely understand the conflicted feelings that you have over his latest offer. We'll be praying for you, for peace in that decision.
Posted by: Shayne | July 13, 2011 at 01:35 PM
I know you think it should be a decision made by the two of you, but it should be entirely your decision. After having read your latest post, maybe it's your body's way of saying. . . enough. I hate saying that to you, but how much more can you seriously and literally take? I'm worried about you, big time.
Posted by: Black Belt Mama | July 16, 2011 at 09:52 PM