RenovationGirl: Some Days...

Some days, things just don't seem to go well. Today was one of those days. It's not that anything went horribly wrong, but things just didn't go horribly well, either. Very rarely do I have a day off of work with Builder Boy where we are not running from appointment to class to errand. Today, we just had one class, a fun time for him and an hour's break for me. So we were able to start the day by just sitting in our jammies and playing. (Okay, I sat in my jammies. Builder Boy insists upon getting dressed immediately upon opening his eyes...while in some ways a good thing, some days, it'd be nice to just get up and go downstairs.) We took our time. Ate some yummy muffins I had made a couple of days ago. He enjoyed a cold glass of milk while I enjoyed a steaming hot mug of coffee. Very little television was watched and it was feeling good.

Then things changed.

A game we were playing didn't go well. I had to get a shower and couldn't entertain him for a few minutes while showering. He didn't want to eat lunch. I didn't want to play the same thing for the third hour. He got mad as we drove to his Sports Skills class for...I have no idea what. My hours' break while he was at class when I should have been grading papers became a time for me to question why I constantly feel so incompetent. I called a friend just to hear the voice of someone who has more faith and confidence in me than I have in myself, but I had to leave a message. I searched around for some bargains at a store, but couldn't find any. I came back to pick him up from his class feeling unsettled. He was energized and happy-I was exhausted.

We came home and took a long walk, and this was good. But back at the house, he was crabby. He played with the much older neighbor child only to be hit in the head with his own toy at close range with a foam airplane that can shoot (when not aimed at a five year old's head at point blank range) 30 feet. I flipped out. Angry that the thirteen year old neighbor child could be so irresponsible. I called my parents to try and settle this internal unrest, but they didn't want to talk. I tried to clean up the kitchen after dinner, but Builder Boy needed help with something (while Remodel Man walked around outside doing...what???) which ended in another tantrum for both of us.

So while this wasn't a day where bad things happened, it just seems like things are lining up. I might be PMSing it, but who knows when you get your period after your uterus has been vacuumed out?

Tomorrow is my ultrasound to check on the ovaries and see why my estrogen levels are skyrocketing. While I'm pretty sure these are just cysts, other issues have surfaced causing significant health alarm. I am overwhelmed by their possibility and feel a great burden right now.

So there you have it...some days are just like this...