My sister is dating this guy. He's not physically the image I had her with, but the qualities are there. He's creative, likes fine things, deals with his emotions, likes sports, etc. Another words, he's rounded and grounded. She's not sure he's the one. Sometimes she's attracted, sometimes she's not. She does acknowledge that he is good for her and to her. She's being completely open with him about this, so he has started a "campaign" to win her over.
He has already written her a song. He's sent her flowers both at home and at work. He sends her lovely messages throughout the day. He He developed a campaign slogan. And then he sent her his "platform." She didn't share it all with me, but they talked about always being there for her, to challenge her creatively and intellectually, to be "big when she is small," and to always adore her. !!!! Go ahead, you romantics, take a collective sigh: ahhhhhh.
BBM and I were discussing this the other day. BBM suggested she missed this part of dating, if you can put aside the feelings of loneliness. I laughed. Okay, I practically shot my drink out of my nose. Not because I thought she was silly. Nope. It's because I only had one true boyfriend who was a romantic-and he cheated on me. You can't miss what you've never had. However, I am totally enamored by this "campaign." I adore you?! I told my sister that while my husband has never said these three words, I'm sure he's thought instead, "You annoy me." Is that close enough?
While she's getting adored, I'm getting annoyed. Not that things are wrong in my marriage, because they are not. It's just hard to keep the romance alive, especially when it's never been sugary sweet. We're worried about school decisions for Builder Boy, paying down our infertility debt, and fixing this dump up. It weighs on the nerves and sometimes makes you a little crabby.
I'm having a hard time being objective about this guy. A big part of me wants him to win this "election." But I do want the decision to be hers and to be the right one for her. However, he took the time to play with my son AND he likes cats. (I will save my men and cats philosophy for another post.) That scores big points in my book. So, what do you think? Should this guy win the election? Or should there be a recount? I'm giving my sister the link to my blog for the first time, so play nice in your responses.
I think it's really telling that there's a political analogy. The thing about all campaigns is that they end. What do politicians do after every campaign they win? Usually, they pretend they don't remember most of the promises they made. Not always... but often.
I don't know either party involved, so it's impossible to say. He may be mr. perfect. But you asked and this was my initial reaction. When things seem too good to be true....
Posted by: Steve | January 25, 2009 at 12:10 PM
There is always something to be said for perseverance and commitment. If those two aspects of this campaign carry over consistently into his personality, that speaks volumes about their future. Romance may fade with time and life, but commitment like that may make for a fun "forever".
Having said that, I would also tell your sister that I was once engage to the man everyone thought was "PERFECT" for me. On paper, we sure were. In real life, I would have gone mad after a year or two of forever (and in all fairness, he probably would have too). No one (and I mean no one) thought my husband and I would last dating, let alone being married. I couldn't be happier.
Sorting out love that will last forever takes time. I say your sister shouldn't rush to a decision too quickly either way.
You seriously have to keep us posted on this relationship now! I am emotionally invested! :)
Posted by: Ann Kimmel | January 25, 2009 at 12:56 PM