A Few Things I've Learned

Thanks to all for your prayers and positive thoughts for my family.  My father was in the hospital for five days, home for a day and a half, then suffered another stroke.  He was then in the hospital for a day and now he is home again.  He has one completely blocked artery in the brain due to calcium deposits, not a clot.  His blood has re-routed itself another way in the brain, so I guess this is good.  Because they figured this out 8 days after the first stroke, they cannot remove the deposit since the body is already trying to heal itself.  His speech is still impaired, but actually better than when he had the first stroke.  I live in fear every time my phone rings. 

I've had a million and one posts to write, but no time, energy, or brain power to do so.  Here are, though, a few things I have learned during my dad's stroke/stroke recovery:

1.  Parents should ALWAYS share with their adult children even the most minor of health issues (Dad apparently had a couple TIA's before this...indicating that a stroke was likely, but my folks didn't think this was important to share with my sister and me.)

2.  For many in the medical profession, their jobs are just that-jobs.  Not many seemed to be "called" to their positions. 

3.  Doctors need to be required to take bedside manners classes and they need to learn patience and understanding-just because YOU deal with this everyday doesn't mean WE do.

4.  Doctors need to learn how to discuss their field in normal, layman's terms.  Inclusion to you, Dr. Jack$^& means something TOTALLY different in my profession as a teacher. 

5.  Communication sucks in the  medical profession.  While I understand that it's very "Big Brother" to have a national patient registry thingy, it would have saved us a lot of trouble and confusion if they had been able to access my father's records immediately.

6.  Always question everything, even if it ticks off Dr. Jack$#^.  Dad may not have stroked the second time had he not been given medication to lower blood pressure after the instructions were to keep his blood pressure HIGH to keep blood flowing to the brain.

7.  People are beyond kind when you are going through a difficult time.

8.  It is easier to talk to people who have experienced this...they know exactly what to say and do.

9.  When you know someone going through something like this, don't offer to help-just help.  So many people offered to help, but in stress and exhaustion of the experience, I had no idea what to ask for.  It would have been great to come home to a casserole for my family on our back porch or someone just showing up to care for my son while I ran all over Southwestern PA. 

10.  Emergency rooms with trauma centers can be a very scary and interesting place.  And they are NOTHING like Grey's Anatom.y.  (Oh, and the doctors are not nearly as good-looking, either...)

11.  There are those special medical professionals who make you feel safe leaving your loved one.  To those few nurses who showed compassion, understanding, and patience with my father and us, I am eternally indebted.  Their kindness and competency is unparalleled and will never be forgotten. 

I've learned more than that, but that's all I have the energy for.  Your continued prayers and positive thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Comments

[Teresa]

Haha if only the drs were as good looking as on Grey's Anatomy! I am so glad that your dad is doing better. I will keep him in my prayers still. Doctors and nurses can be such dicks, I swear some think they are better than us "common" folk lol!

[Peeveme]

I'm so sorry for the ordeal your family has been through.

[BBM]

The things you've learned are the same things my family and I learned when my dad had his brain surgery a few years ago. So true. If your dad ever needs an orthopedic surgeon, I have a fantastic one, and he does rival the Grey's doctors, even better I think. ;-)

[steve]

It's been a while since I've checked in here, and it looks like I've missed quite a bit. I'm sorry you guys had such a scare, but very glad your dad is on the mend.