RenovationGirl

Gobble, Gobble!

Taking a break from cooking to post...No, I don't have Thanksgiving at my house (I refuse...can't stand the whole bird thing), but I am taking four different things to the in-laws, so here I am cooking.  It smells like fresh baked bread and homemade cranberry sauce-yum!!

Tons of posts in my head and some on paper (yes, really, paper...you know that stuff they make from trees...), but no time to write them.  My second job is finally coughing up some hours for me, so all "free" time is spent working.  Remember that organized high I was on just a week or two ago-GONE!  I forgot how exhausting it is to work the two jobs.  I am on the computer until late each night, up to work, then back on the computer.  Blah!!  Now, if I were reading blogs, that would be fun, but I'm grading and doing the whole teacher thing.  Not as fun...

Builder Boy has been a champ as I work these hours.  He's been playing independently a bit and trying hard to be patient.  Really, what more could I ask for?  He's working on his issues at four-this is progress. 

I've been hesitant to discuss our recent visits with a child psychologist...First, because I was scared.  I was scared that I totally screwed this kid up with my horrible mothering.  Then I was terrified that something truly horrible was the matter with him.  I know many of you are shaking your head and saying, "What is she talking about?"  For now, just know that we have had some issues with behavior with Builder Boy...normal if they weren't quite so common, explosive, and unexpected.  He's hasn't been a happy kid and for those reasons, we took him.  Friday Remodel Man and I meet for the diagnosis, so if you're the praying type, would you mind sending a few up for Builder Boy?  I'd appreciate it.

Back to cooking...next stop green bean casserole!    Does anyone else remember those sing-songy commercials for green bean casserole?  The one where someone opens the door and every person brings a green bean casserole?  "I brought the gr-e-e-n    b-e-a-n     CAS-s-e-role!" 

If you're in the States, Happy Thanksgiving!  If you're not, Happy November 27th! 

The Definitive Answer

Builder Boy has a new answer to our questions.  While the two-year-old Builder Boy answered everything with a resounding, "NO!" even when he meant, "Yes," the four-year-old Builder Boy has become more creative.  Whenever we ask him pretty much anything, he shrugs.

Hmmm...

Now, he is a child who has great anxiety when he has to make a decision.  Taking him to a toy store and telling him that he can choose something overwhelms him to the point of anger and frustration, ultimately ending in a meltdown.  So, this adolescent shrug fits right into his mindset.  Except there is one problem-he tells you after he shrugs, "You know what that means, Mama...it means 'I don't know'."   

"Okay, Builder Boy, but that doesn't tell me what you want...is it yes or no?"

Another shrug.  I guess one way.  I always guess wrong.  He freaks out.  We're back to a shrug.  Finally, after multiple cycles of guess, guess wrong, freak out and shrug, it dawns on him that this is not the way to get whatever he needs and he provides an answer to us,  "I guess."

A friend of mine related to me that preschoolers and teens are the same creatures.  They act the same, the react the same-the only difference is size and a slight difference in the ability to think logically and abstractly.  Boy, was she right! 

Who knew the teenage years would come so soon...

"Guess What?" is the New "Why?"

When Builder Boy was a two, he started with the "Why?" question.  Everything was why?  Why?  Why?  It was inquisitive and cute and at times frustrating.  This slowly melded into him asking a Why question that was not really a why question:

Builder Boy:  Is Sally three?

Mama:  No, she's two.

Builder Boy:  Why?

Mama:  Uh, because she was born after you.

Builder Boy: Why?

Mama:  Uh, well, because her parents kept having sex at all the wrong times and just couldn't get pregnant.  How does that sound?!

Okay, that conversation never happened, and I never would answer him that way, but it's the kind of Why question that would drive us batty.  We've grown up a little here, gotten a little wise after four years on this earth and now we have a new question:  Guess.

No, I'm not asking you to guess, that IS the question.  For everything we ask, Builder Boy returns with "Guess." 

Mama:  Would you like milk or orange juice?

Builder Boy: Guess...

Mama:  Builder Boy, what would you like to play with? (eying the million toys on the toy shelves)

Builder Boy:  Guess!

Or my favorite:

Builder Boy: (unintelligible words coming from the other room) Guess, Mama!

Mama: I don't know, honey.  What?

Builder Boy:  NO, GUESS!!!!

Mama: I didn't hear you...can you repeat what you said?

Builder Boy: Guess!  (followed by meltdown because I didn't hear what I was guessing thereby responding incorrectly.)

Yes, it's fun around here.  And guess what?  Uh, Never mind...

Stay tuned for the amusing conversations using "I don't know" as a definitive answer...

Productivity Can Be Painful

I hesitated using the above as the title of my post...earlier today, as I was in full productive swing, I was talking with Black Belt Mama as I perched on an old wooden ladder attempting to clean the 10 foot walls in the upstairs bathroom.  We decided that it was probably not a good idea for me to be talking, cleaning, and climbing, so we hung up.  So, BBM, I did NOT fall off the ladder...

But being productive can be painful.  Case in point, right now, my lower back in throbbing from stretching to reach the highest point of the walls as I washed them and as I contorted myself to clean in between the radiator coils.  Oh yes, I am cleaning like my mother cleans and as she said on the phone to me a little while ago, now I know why she goes to bed so early!  I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but I hope it continues.

This weekend also proved productive as once again, Builder Boy has entertained himself while I cleaned upstairs.  He's actually requesting that "we" clean upstairs.  I think it's the novelty of being in a room we don't use often.  He also likes to bring one of the Deconstructors with us and then "play" with them (which  means he chases them, they freak out, and then scream bloody murder at the door to be let out of the room...).  Regardless of why, I am content to get some things done.  So, I managed to clean out a closet, get rid of two big bags of clothes and shoes, and organize a bit. 

During this time of cleaning out, I came across a diaper bag that I used towards the end of Builder Boy's babyhood.  Had this been early October, I would have been deeply saddened by this.  I had decided then that it was time to move on from trying to have another baby.  I was thinking that after the new year, I would begin cleaning out baby toys and baby clothes.  Why keep them if this was never meant to happen again?  And then along comes October 19th and I thought, "Wow, how exciting!  I get to use this stuff again."  I looked at the boxes of toys and clothes and longed for the time when I could wash them all and put them out.  Fast forward just a few days to October 23rd...What do I do now?  Do I start giving this stuff away?  Keep it a bit more?  Hope has been restored, but it's not without the pain of it all.  So while the sadness is different, it also feels a bit more frustrating.  I WAS ready to move on.  I had begun moving in a forward motion instead of walking in one place for so long.  And then something came along that hit the rewind.

So, today I sit here with a throbbing back, sore neck and an aching heart.  I'm feeling so good about the progress I am making with my house...I just wish I could feel the same way with my home. 

See, if I had just continued on my lazy, poor housekeeping ways, I wouldn't be feeling this way. Yet another reason why cleaning is a bad, bad thing! ;)

Cycle Day Huh?

This being my first miscarriage and all, I'm just not sure of what is going on with my body.  Is the day you miscarry the first day of your next cycle?  Or does this not count as a true cycle since your body needs to regroup after the miscarriage?  I joked to a friend of mine that every time I visit the bathroom, I get a new surprise.  While I joked about it, it's not very funny.

So for those of you who have had the misfortune and sorrow of going through a miscarriage, enlighten me...do I count the day of the miscarriage at cycle day 1...or is this not possible.  I just want to have a general idea of when my period may make her entrance.  A big fear I have with teaching is getting my period in the middle of class and not realizing it.  It's like that dream of giving a presentation in your underwear concept...just with blood and teenagers.  (Can you imagine what searches will land people here with that phrase?  Yikes!)  So help me...if the miscarriage happened on October 23rd, and today is November 15 that would put me at cycle day 24.  I am horribly crabby and irritable with light spotting and sore breasts-all normal signs that my period is on its way.  Minus the lovely hormone headache I get a day or two before. 

Or is this all moot, attempting to figure this out?  Anyone?

Productive

Productive is not a word that I am usually able to use in reference to myself.  Procrastinator?  Yes.  Productive?  Um, no.  But this weekend, a miraculous event happened...Builder Boy actually let me get a few things done and he wasn't even watching television while I did them!  Go ahead and take a minute to pull your jaw off the floor...................got it?  Okay, moving on. 

In our old house, all 800 square feet of it, we had a junk drawer.  Every so often (okay, maybe once...), I would clean it out and organize it.  Slowly it would gather junk until it needed to be cleaned again.  Moving to this house, I swore it wouldn't happen.  Well, I still have a junk drawer in my kitchen, but we have an even worse problem...instead of throwing our junk in drawers, we throw them in our spare bedrooms.  There are two of them.  (The irony...we have more space than any of our friends and can't fill them with children...)  Every time we have a party, we "clean" by throwing all our homeless crap into one of the two rooms.  Same goes for every stamping project I do...I grab the things I need, use them, then throw them haphazardly into one of the rooms.  It's scary.  (I took a picture of the before shot, but cannot locate it amongst the thousands of pictures I take...)

On Saturday and Sunday, for over three hours, Builder Boy sat in the one spare room with me playing, listening to made up stories (that were very pathetic by  me), chasing one of the Deconstructors, etc. while I managed to organize almost 10 boxes of stamping items and get rid of 5 bags of garbage, too.  For someone who struggles who loves the concept of a clean, organized house but struggles with actually completing organization projects, this weekend was a wonder! 

Behold, the product of my labor...Aaaaaahhhhh!!! (insert angelic music here...)

Sweet Gesture...Negated

On Friday night, we decided to take Builder Boy to see the new Madagascar movie.  He loves the whole experience of movies...the dark theater, the popcorn, the chance to drink pink lemonade, and the excitement of the big screen.  I love watching him watch the movie...how his eyes light up or how he chuckles at a cartooned joke.  So off we went.  It wasn't too bad as far as kids' movies go.  Builder Boy certainly enjoyed it, telling us at the end of the movie his favorite parts.

We set off to do an errand before going home for dinner.  I went to one store while Remodel Man took Builder Boy to another store so that I could have some piece while making decisions.  As I walked out of the store, purchases in hand, Builder Boy came running towards me with a small bag in his hand.  He was screaming, "We bought a gift for you, Mama!"  I put my hands over my eyes thinking they had done some Christmas shopping (Builder Boy is not so good with keeping Xmas secrets!), but he wanted me to open it right there.  I asked what it was for...he hugged my necks and said, "It's a thank you for taking me to see that movie!"  How sweet is that?????  He didn't ask to see the movie, I just took him.  I love when he can show true gratitude.

Then he looked at me squarely in the eyes and said, "Okay, I gave you a gift, now it's time for you to give me a gift.  Should we go right now?"

Sigh...

(and no, we did not go get him a "gift" right then...)

Well Read?

On Monday, while being sick as a dog with very little voice, I had to suffer through a 13 hour day.  Teaching in the morning and then conducting parent-teacher conferences all afternoon and evening  was a killer on the voice.  I bumped into a parent of a former student who had asked me last year to compile a list of books that her child should have read/be reading.  This family is exceptionally intelligent and they work very hard constantly to challenge themselves on all issues.  I never did compile that list for her.  It's hard to say what "should" be read.  I am a very traditional student of literature-I believe in the literary canon.  I believe that Shakespeare should be taught.  I believe that kids should read some Dickens.  I believe that children should Austen, and the Brontes, and Hardy.  I am a lover of British literature and early American literature (except Hawthorne...blech!).  I appreciate some amazing contemporary pieces that are out there (anything by Ian McEwan), but if I want to curl up and lose myself in a book, it's to the classic pieces I go.  But I know there is more to literature than my classic choices.  And so I didn't feel that I could adequately provide this family with a definitive "list." 

I was thinking this while waiting for parents to conference with me.  I started obsessing about all the books I haven't read.  I looked up the Top 100 Novels of All Time and was thoroughly disgusted with myself...of the 100 books listed, I was under 20.  I have a Masters in Literature...how pathetic is that?!  I vowed that I would read the top 100.  Some of the books I own and just have never read, so I will start with those.  Currently, I am starting Native Son by Richard Wright, a book that used to be taught in our school before it was censored by parents (please, don't get me started).   But 80+ books is a bit overwhelming.  So, I found a new list over at Big Read.  I'm still at just about 30,but it's much more my speed and makes me feel a bit better about my literary background. 

So tell me, what are you reading?  What do you like to read?  Have any good book suggestions for me? 

Some Thoughts on Election Day

1.  I voted...did you?  I hope so.  I saw a sign on a business today that said, "Vote so you can complain."  I like that.  You certainly can't complain about our political system if you're not taking part in it. 

2. Nickelodeon has been doing a great job of getting the little ones involved in the election process.  They have presented the candidates in an interesting way for the kids and Builder Boy has noticed.  Of course, we're trying to do our part in teaching him the importance, even at such a young age, of civic responsibility.  If you ask him who he's voting for, he'll tell you John McCain.  If you ask him why, he'll tell you, "because of his speeches" and then proceed to tell you about McCain's dog and cat.  Hey, whatever it takes to get him involved.  He attended a rally with us the day after Palin was announced as McCain's running mate...while I can't say he enjoyed it, he did find it interesting and asked a lot of questions (this was after numerous meltdowns about how hot it was, how long it was taking, that he was sooo thirsty, etc.). 

3.  No matter who you are voting for, it is clear that this is an historical and monumental election.  No  matter which ticket wins, history is being made.  But I guess history is made with each election, we're just breaking more barriers this year.

4.  As I was driving home from voting today, I noticed that in the hour since I had driven by a McCain sign, someone had knocked it off its posts.  I stopped the car, got out and fixed it.  Someone driving by yelled, "Just throw it away" in a not very kind tone.  This infuriates me...I don't go around ripping down Obama signs or yelling things at Obama supporters.  THIS IS AMERICA.  We all have the right to vote for whomever we like.  Instead of being divisive, let's support the fact that we live in such a great country.  Let's applaud anyone who votes, who  makes their voice heard through voting.  

5.  I was very saddened to hear that Obama's grandmother had died.  Again, no matter which side you stand on, this is such sorrowful news for him and his family during a time that is already stressful.  To not have her there today as he awaits news of election results must add such a layer of sadness that I can't even imagine.  Watching him speak last night, you could see the sadness behind his eyes.  It must be so incredibly tough.

6.  Two weeks ago, in broad daylight, someone spray painted the side of a Victorian house in our neighborhood using red engine paint with Obama "stuff" and some profanities about McCain.  No one saw who did it (naturally), but this old woman now has a massive cleanup and expensive repaint of her house.  She had no political signs in her yard and keeps to herself.  Shame on the person who did this. 

7.  For the record, I hate the expression, "Get out the vote."   It just sounds weird to me.  Get out AND vote, okay.  Get out THE vote-it just sounds odd.  It's kind of like saying, "My bad."  Don't even get me started on that one...

8.  From the time that Builder Boy got up today until just a few minutes ago when he fell asleep, he did not shut up.  He was a motor mouth the entire day.  It was a bit like Chinese torture.  I'm not kidding, the whole darn day.  When I told him this, he laughed and just kept on going.  He did have lots of questions for me...questions that are difficult to explain to a four year old.  For example, last week, he asked me why God made bad people.  Hmmm...so I dive into how God made us all equal and he made us so we could make choices.  Some people make good choices while others make bad choices...the phone then rang.  THANK YOU, GOD, for ringing the phone for me because trying to explain free will to a kid was hard!!!  These were the types of questions I was getting today. 

9.  As I voted today and I looked at the names of all the candidates, I have to admit that I got a little teary...a black man for President and a woman for Vice President?  Wow!  Cool!  And more emotionally overwhelming than I thought it would be. 

How about that for a random thoughts post?  Tonight (or tomorrow if its too close to call) is an exciting time in our country.  I'm hoping that it will be viewed by all that way no matter what happens.  I am glad it is over.  The political calls will stop (they will stop, won't they???) and we can move on.  Happy Election Day, everyone.  We're making history!