Ego

The human ego is an amazing thing.  As a woman, I always hear people referring to the  "male ego" and its fragility.  And while I have been known to make this reference myself, I have to say that the whole idea of the ego as fragile does not just come with a lot of testosterone.   I have come to realize that a fragile ego is gender neutral. 

Over the past week, an issue came up at work that required some contemplation and research.  Doing the majority of our communication via email, the ability to work through this problem as a team instead became separate teams desperate to prove that they were right.  Along the way, the issue itself almost became moot.  Egos got in the way.  The desire to be right stood in the way of what was the right way.  Am I blameless?  Noooooo, not in the least.  But about halfway through, I realized what the problem had become and it infuriated me.  Once I stepped back, regained my professionalism, and realized that sometimes there is no "right," that definitive answers mean nothing even when backed with credible proof, I was able to think logically, to figure out my side of the issue, and to speak articulately, rationally, professionally, and intellectually.  (At least I hope I did!)

It was a tie game.  There was no winner.  But one really good thing came out of this:  It made me (and I think my "teammates") realize that talking things through before pointing fingers, allowing a person to explain a choice, and using the telephone can be powerful tools of not only keeping the peace, but also efficiently and effectively dealing with any issues that come up.  It also gently strokes the ego, allows the ego time to work through something instead of immediately putting up the defense. 

Sometimes, it takes a bit of adversity to make a team stronger.  I'm hoping that is what came out of this.  Egos take note: we have learned from our experience and won't be relying on you as much!

And that whole thing about the male ego?  I think the female ego can be worse...

Comments

[Rita]

The need to always be right. I see it in the way mothers judge each other : breastfeeding or formula. Co-sleeping or Crib sleeping. The ego gets in the way of reaching out to each other.
Rita

[Mizasiwa]

i hope i can learn this quickly im really going to have to know how to apply this in my new position!
thanks for the blog it really spoke to me.

[Topsy-Techie]

Think I'll print out this post and keep it on my mirror! I could use a little ego-lesson everyday, and yours is just about right! Thanks!!

[Black Belt Mama]

So true, so true.