You Give Women a Bad Name

I hesitate to write this post.  I'm really big on the whole sisterhood community, women supporting women, etc.  However, during the past two weeks, a friend of Remodel Man's recently came home to an empty house.  A house that 8 hours before were filled with his young children, his wife, and her daughter.  He went to work to support his family, came home, and they were gone.  Not one trace that they had lived there.  The only things that remained are whatever he brought into the marriage.  Clearly, this was a well orchestrated move.  Clearly, this was planned sometime in advance.  Clearly, this man is beside himself. 

I only profess to know what was happening in that marriage based on what Remodel Man's friend, let's call him RMF, told to Remodel Man, which Remodel Man then told me.  I also know what I know by being an acquaintance of RMF's wife.  Here's what I "know": 

I know that RMF's wife liked to spend money, lots of it, even when there was no money to spend.  I know that RMF's wife used sex to manipulate RMF.  I know that RMF's wife slandered RMF and Remodel Man, calling them drug dealers.  (If you know Remodel Man, you'll be hysterically laughing right now!)  I know that RMF's wife, while professing to be a Christian, asked me how I could continue being friends with someone once I found out they were gay.  I know that RMF's wife was completely rude to me and Remodel Man the last time she entered my home for a party.  I know that she made RMF sleep in the basement anytime he wouldn't give her more money when he had none to give.  I know that even when they were having financial difficulties, she refused to get a job to  help out and still continued to spend money on frivolous things like makeup and clothing.  I know that RMF tried to get out of the relationship before marrying her, but somehow, she didn't let him.  I know that things were always volatile in their relationship and anytime you were out with them, it was always slightly tense. 

I am sure there is a lot I don't know. 

RMF hasn't had any contact with his wife or kids since the morning he still had a family.  No one is answering the phone when he calls multiple numbers.  Because of how volatile she can be, he's afraid to go to where she may be for fear she will accuse him of things that aren't true.  He's torn apart and misses his kids.  I'm sad for him, I'm sad for his children, and I'm downright furious at the wife.  I don't like women who cry wolf or abuse the system or manipulate others.  I don't like women who slander others for personal gain (especially when it's my husband!).  I don't like women who use their children as pawns in their sick little marital vengeance games.  These type of women give other women a bad name.  And I don't like that one bit.

Of course, there are lots of parts of this story I am not writing about for the sake of anonymity.  And there are for sure other aspects of the story that I am not privy to.  I just hope that whatever the circumstances, that she is working with her kids to help them understand the changes in their lives right now.  And I hope that she realizes that RMF has a right to help raise his children and be a part of their lives. 

I wrote this last week and hesitated to post it...now, one week later, RMF's wife has asked for an emergency hearing for money to live on.  Their lawyers came to an agreement of a certain amount so that all parties would not have to go to court.  The agreement was made, money was exchanged, and RMF's wife and lawyer showed up anyways for the court date and RMF now has some type of legal action against for not appearing in court.  She has also had a PFA placed on him for sexual abuse against their toddler child, for him apparently not giving her money to live off of, and for one other thing that infuriates me so much I won't even write it.  I think I'm a fairly good judge of character.  I am almost always the one to accuse the man when the woman is crying foul.  But past history and repeated behavior has me wanting to throttle this woman.  She is giving all women a bad name and making it harder for the woman who really is abused, the child who really are abused, the woman who really isn't being given enough money to feed her children to get the justice they truly need.  SHAME ON YOU, RMF's wife.  Shame on you!

Comments

[Rita]

My mantra when I'm in a bad relationship is " I don't have to like you, but I have to play fair". I think it's about control. Who's got it, who wants it, how to get it. Too bad she doesn't realise just how much suffering she will inflict on her children. Is that going to be her legacy?
~Rita

[Sheri]

This is so sad - I feel for those poor kids. I can only hope that everything comes out and she is forced to look her ugly self in the mirror one day soon.

[Steve]

I hope he's got a lawyer. If not, he's very foolish.