I just wrote the title of this post and it has me singing the theme song to that Bea Arthur show where all those older ladies lived together...? I can't think of the name, but I am sure one of you will. (Topsy-Techie...I'm betting you'll come through for me...) Anyway, that's totally not what this post is about...
Recently, I've been a little stressed out. Okay, pretty much for the past 6 years I've been super stressed. First it was infertility, then it was new motherhood, then it was working and mothering and taking care of this house, then it was fertility with working and mothering and taking care of this house. It is still all of the above, but just add another newer job. Through all of these times, I have been blessed with a corp group of women who have helped in their own way, with their own style. They are very different women who will say very different things, but they all have one thing in common-they want for me to be happy and want to help when I am not.
For example, I have this new job that has me doing education work a bit out of my area of expertise. My friend, Fire Girl, who works full-time, mothers her beautiful daughter to perfection, handles the house, and just recently started a new business in addition to her full-time job, took last evening to drive 40 minutes to my house, work on my new job with me, adding her expertise to my weaker areas. She took time that she should have devoted to her child, house or one of her jobs. She didn't have to do this, she won't get paid, but she did it anyway. Did I mention that this was her idea, not mine? She is my practical friend (she'll crack up at that!). She tells it like it is, even when I don't like it. She holds strong to her convictions and beliefs and never wavers. We've been friends for a long time and know far too much about one another to not be friends. She is the friend who can have me snorting laughing in no time. She will calmly listen when I am enraged or hysterical. She is my rock and has been for a long time.
My other friend, Actress Girl, has been living the life I thought I would live, acting, living in a swanky Chicago condo, and being all "urban." While I struggled with infertility, she would listen, sympathize and say all the right things...and she wasn't in the same place as me. She had no interest in kids at that point in her life, yet she still cared in the right way, did the right things, and said what I wanted to hear. I felt as if she was truly with me. We've been friends since college and have seen one another through some trying and life-changing times. From broken hearts, to family baggage, to infertility, to her husband's cancer, we've been there. She is my IM-ing buddy. We have probably talked only a handful of times in the past ten years, yet I know that she would drop everything to be there for me. As she awaits the birth of her first child, we've been talking a lot about pregnancy and parenting. She's due tomorrow, her birthday, and I'm hoping I can be there for her like she has been there for me for these past 17 years.
My other friend is someone you might know, Black Belt Mama. She is a great blog writer, but she's an even better friend. She is my champion. She is the friend to whom I can call sobbing about the latest injustice in my life. She listens and comforts, but she goes a step more-she tries to do something about it. When I cried about infertility, she researched all possible medicines, treatments, clinics, etc. to find what may be the best way to treat me. When I cried about financial woes, she asked me to write for her other blog site, BBM Review (I write under the name TKDDaughter), and connected me with the boss of my new job. If something is wrong with Builder Boy, she gives practical advice or researches info to help me through it. She is one of the biggest reasons why I made it through those first three months of motherhood and continue to make it everyday with infertility. We talk almost every day (sometimes more) and live 5 hours apart. I have "only" been friends with her for ten years, but we are like sisters.
These three amazing women, who do not know one another, form a group of support for me. Without them and their differing friendships, I would not be the woman I am. I feel so blessed every day for all of them.
Who is your support group?
Is it the Golden Girls?
~Rita
Posted by: Rita | April 02, 2008 at 08:22 PM
Rita-YES, that's it!!!! I could not think of that!!!! Thank you! :)
Posted by: RenovationGirl | April 02, 2008 at 08:26 PM
You have me in tears. You are the best friend a gal could ever hope to have and I feel exactly the same way about you. It's an absolute pleasure and privilege to be your friend.
Posted by: Black Belt Mama | April 02, 2008 at 10:28 PM
i have been through the mill when it comes to friends and your posts is so amazing. Freinds like these are hard to find but when you find them it is the best gift anyone could ever give you!! I am working on a relativly new friendship that i hope will be as strong as the ones you talk about.
Posted by: Mizasiwa | April 03, 2008 at 04:04 AM
Ok, Rita, I hate it when people steal my thunder, but yes, it was the Golden Girls. But I'll one-up you...I even know the title of the song. It was called "The Golden Girls Theme Song" So there. Terrific, heart-warming post RG. Made me wanna hug my best bud of sixteen years...if she only didn't live six states away. :-(
Posted by: Topsy-Techie | April 03, 2008 at 11:23 AM
That was a beautiful post! It does sound like you have an excellent support group. I am also blessed with a small support group. I consider these people to be more like members of my extended family (the kind you like...not the obnoxious ones that you manage to "forget" to invite to family functions, lol) rather than just friends. Again, what a great post and what a great way to tell those girls how much they mean to you! :o)
Posted by: Kat. | April 04, 2008 at 11:38 AM