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April 12, 2008

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Black Belt Mama

I hear you. This is why the students in my women's studies classes didn't like me. I told them that Women's Rights activists wrecked things for me (Of course, I was kidding, partially anyway). I have to do all the June Cleaver stuff, plus contribute monetarily. Not cool.

SoCalledSupermom

Amen!

This is one of those topics that we all think about and ponder and spend too much money on books to figure out. But we never talk about it.

I, for one, gave up the toothbrush cleaning but none of the rest.

Again, AMEN!

ps--found your blog through a friend of mine (worldofwinks.wordpress.com).

Steve

Okay, speaking from the LARGE group of guys who aren't developmentally stunted, many women don't do these things and they still get done. While I do 90% of the cooking, if I don't feel like it, my wife is always willing to step up. Conversely, if she's out of town or something, I'm happy to do a few loads of laundry. The world doesn't stop.

I've been thinking a lot about this very subject for the last few months, but from the other side. As my wife becomes more and more obviously pregnant, I'm not looking forward to patronizing women congratulating me for not being a neanderthal and/or developmentally disabled. We're only in the 2nd trimester and a stranger has already told me to "give my wife a night off." Oh, brother.

Rita

I too am exhausted. My day is compartmentalized into 'must-do' activities. I am a working mother who ends up doing most of the after hours childcare plus all the housecleaning. Why? Because my husband puts in 14 hour days at work plus weekends. He is emotionally and mentally fatigued when he does come home before the child goes to bed. There is nothing left for me at the end of the day and now I realise that half the problem in the marriage is my inner rage over the fact that this partnership is not equal.
Rita

Renovation Girl

BBM-June Cleaver with a black belt? Hmmm...am I seeing a sit com pilot in your future!

SoCalledSupermom-Welcome! Amen. Amen. Amen!! ;)

Steve-Nice to have a male's perspective on this. Also, nice that you do work around the house. Remodel Man does major renovations on our house, but the daily upkeep-not so much. Of my friends, I can think of 2 whose husbands do even 25% of the daily work. Your wife is a lucky lady! How annoying those comments are about "giving your wife a night off." I do try to be sensitive in real life to all sides...being infertile, there is a lot of unknowing insensitivity from people. I try (and I'm sure I don't always succeed) to be as sensitive to others as I can and not say stupid things. Thanks for commenting!

Rita-A lot of problems Remodel Man and I have come from my inner rage, too. Although not at paying work for those many hours, he does spend much of his "free time" working on the renovations. It gets old. Good phrasing, inner rage!

SpinDiva

WOW I think about this when I'm going out of town and must write a schedule for my DH. I have to say in his defense, I'm with the kids a lot more then he so obviously I know their schedule better. But some of our arguments have definitely been my "inner rage" and his response is usually, if you want help or something done just tell me don't hint or expect me to know. We're getting better at communicating these little issues and I'm getting better at not being a control freak. LOL. Great Post!! Love it.

Mizasiwa

hi i taged you in on ameme i hope you dont mind

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