RenovationGirl

A Quiet Morning

It is very rare that I get to enjoy a quiet morning alone with a cup of coffee and just be. Today is one of those days...mind you, I have already gotten Builder Boy off to school complete with sleeping through the first alarm, construction that made the 5 minutes drive almost 15 minutes, or the hour of work I've already done, so this wasn't exactly a roll out of bed and enjoy the quiet kind of day. Nonetheless, after all the morning craziness, I grabbed my cup of coffee and here I am.

Just being.

Just thinking.

Just enjoying the cat purring on the couch behind me

...the wind rattling these 130 year old windows

...the cars rolling by on the street outside

...the sound of the furnace kicking on to warm the house.

The day ahead holds a few smaller projects that will finally be checked of my list after too long, a mountain of exams to finish grading, some lessons to be planned, a dinner to be cooked, and some laundry to fold, but for the now, they are just the future. And for once, I am just enjoying the now.

Have a good day, everyone!

Outlook

As I type this, I'm sitting amidst in our school library, listening to the rustle of pages, the hushed whispers of worried students, the hum of the ancient heater.  Outside the window is a white-covered world.  A gloomy Pittsburgh day, misting more than snowing.  Ice glistens dangerously and surprisingly on the salt stained streets.  All foretold, my outlook should be gloomy and down-trodden and defeated.

If you've never lived in this part of the country, perhaps you can't understand how deeply your mood can be affected by the climate.  Around this time of your, people in this area start to feel a bit depressed.  You feel as if spring will never get here.  That we will remain cloaked in this grayness forever. 

I feel very aware of this.  I'm reminding myself daily that soon I will see my tulips pushing through the tired snow, shockingly green and vibrant amidst the white.  My neighbor's tree will start to show it's leaves, always an early bloomer, providing hope. 

Outlook really is half the battle.  As a "glass half-empty" kind of girl, I am working hard to change my outlook.  Just today, as fear and worry gripped me over something beyond my control, I stopped.  Literally stopped and told myself that yes, this is beyond my control.  If I cannot control it, I must try to not be gripped by that fear and worry.  While this isn't always a feasible solution, it's working on the issues I have right now and I can slowly feel the tension in my shoulders soften, the worry lines smooth out, the tightness in my chest release. 

Deep breathe in....slow breathe out....cleansing...energizing...

How's your outlook today?  What kind of things do you do to move past the fear and worry?

Bloggy Mindfulness

I have to tell you, this whole mindful thing is pretty cool!  Don't get me wrong, it's so, so hard, but because it's a way of thinking, as I attempt to be mindful, I become even more mindful of being mindful (did you follow that?).   Even during the bad, yucky, and graceless moments, I am still attempting to find those mindful moments. 

Take, for example, today as I teach.  I have laryngitis...this is not a teacher's friend-especially not one who talks as much as I do!  I find that in the involuntary quiet of my voice, the students are really listening.  Partly because they have to strain to really hear me, but also because the classroom dynamics are different without my loud and boisterous teaching voice.  There is a peace about the room that is calming-a great way to start back from a break and a great way to lead into our upcoming midterm exams.  So, yes, my throat hurts, I'm coughing in that horrible, dry, rasping way, but we sit here learning, peaceful, and ready for what comes next.

You'll notice that the look of my blog has changed a bit.  I've been wanting a change for quite some time now, having outgrown my new-kid-on-the-blog template, so I used a stock template and voila! Pink!   I'm going to be playing around a bit, so bear with me as I do. The change comes as a part of some reflection that I've been doing over my blog and blog habits.  Over the past four or so months, I've felt an alarming sense of aloneness.  I am a social creature and this disturbed me.  I have good friends, but they're all so busy with their own lives that our time together is very sporadic. I realized that over the past year or so, I had cut my blog reading down considerably.  I went from a ton of blogs to five or so blogs.  This is partly a time issue, partly because many of my favorite bloggers vanished into the blogosphere, and partly because some blogs changed and I didn't change with them.  There was no coincidence that I was feeling lonely AND had cut down on my blog reading.  There is still a sense of community when you find fellow bloggers with whom you click.  Knowing that when you post something, even something inconsequential, you will receive an acknowledgement of your words, your voice, your thoughts helps a girl to feel, well, not alone. 

So, I'm reaching out.  I'm searching for blogs where I feel comfortable or challenged or entertained.  I'm searching your blogrolls for these places.  I'm searching Blo.gHer and Goog.le.  I want to get back that sense of community here on this little blog that I've been missing.  So, if you lurk, I'd love to know ya.  Leave a comment.  If you read and comment often, leave me a link for your couple must-read blogs.   If you're stopping by for the first time, Hi!  Leave a blog footprint and tell me about yourself.  I promise to be a good blogger and check our your blog.  I may even stay awhile. 

Community. Peaceful. Calming. I'm liking these words I'm thinking and experiencing.