RenovationGirl

Succumbing to the Season

I normally like fall.  The changing of the season.  The slight chills in the air.  The brilliant shades emerging on the leaves.  A pot of soup on the stove and a over-sized sweatshirt hugging a slightly chilled body.  I live in a place that has the four seasons because I like this change, the feeling that you can start over again and again and again.  But this year?  Yeah, not so much.

I'm not sure if it is because we had a lousy summer.  The weather hardly was summer-like.  Days at the pool were few and far between.  I worked so much and was so stressed that I was never able to relax and enjoy.  There are even more projects unfinished that were to be done already. 

I have been resisting fall for weeks.  While others were happily buying mums and cornstalks, making batches of pumpkin cookies and apple pies, and planning a trip to the pumpkin patch, I was leaving the windows open, grilling seafood and wearing flip-flops.  I'm rebelling against the changing of the seasons!

Slowly, though, I have had to succumb.  Pulling out some fall jammies for Builder Boy.  Washing cozy blankets under which we will spend the next, gulp, six or seven months.  Wearing jeans (but with flip flops!!).  On Sunday, I made my first pot of soup.  I bought the ingredients for the pumpkin drop cookies with icing that Builder Boy loves.  I've stopped shaving my legs every day. I brought down some long sleeve shirts and have started pricing fall mums. 

Today, though, was the final event that lets me know that fall is here and here to stay.  I wore shoes.  Real closed-toe, closed back shoes, and worse yet, with stockings.    My feet are currently begging for flip-flops. The skies are a miserable shade of blah and the air is chilled.  It's time to give in and enjoy this time of year.

This weekend, we will make our second pot of soup, this time with a bit more love, and go apple picking.  We'll pull out the fall decorations and eat pumpkin cookies.  It wasn't an easy transition this year, but here we are.  Welcome to fall!

Blogging from the Beach - Part 2

We're mostly packed up and ready to leave first thing in the morning.  Why is it so hard to leave the beach?  For me, it's the thought of going back to a cluttered, disorganized house, a new job search, and the upcoming school year at a job that I have not liked for years.  (If you're relatively new to this blog, I lost one of my four jobs...doesn't sound as so bad, except we rely on that income.)   But, before I go back to the stress of reality, here's what we've been up to.

Day Four:  The weather forecast for the entire week showed thunderstorms every day, but we somehow keep missing these storms.  Today is no exception.  We head down late to the beach, but continue playing in the waves.  Each day, Builder Boy gets a little braver with the water, which is great, except I feel that we have to be even more watchful.  We spent some time at the pool today, too, so he can practice his swimming.  Today, he started jumping off the side, something he hasn't done since last year.  He's doing great!  We all clean up and do a family dinner at the Cottage Cafe, a place that everyone has told us to go to-we're not overly impressed, but it's good to be with the whole group.  After dinner and an ice cream, Builder Boy goes home with my parents while my sister, her boyfriend, and Remodel Man and I cruise over to stroll Rehoboth Beach in a light rain. 

Day Five: For Builder Boy, a beach vacation would not be perfect without a trip to Frontier town.  While most places like this come off tacky, this town is heaven for little boys, and I'll admit that my whole family enjoys the experience.  We first watched an Native American ceremonial dance from a Native American family.  It was unbelievable-beautiful and inspiring and so darn cool.  We also learned about the true Native Americans and not what Hollywood shows us.  We watched a reenactment of a western shoot-out, mined for gold, petted a super-soft donkey who took a liking to me, rode on a pony swing, and bought a ton of Western and Native American toys for Builder Boy.  It was so hot that day, but we had a great time.  We stopped at Grotto's pizza where we consumed too much pizza and gelato.  That night, Remodel Man and I sat on the balcony, listening to the waves, dreading going home, and just being.  

Day Six:  On your last day at the beach, you always want a picture perfect day.  Grey clouds threatened the skies when we first got up, but they quickly blew out to sea.  It was hot.  We spent a lot of time in the water, and the waves were at first easy, then smashing.  We all got a little too much sun when we hung out at the pool in the late afternoon, but it was a good, tired, sunburned feeling.  We headed out to Warren's Station for dinner and soon after  we sat down, a huge storm moved in.  We spent a long time at dinner, from salads, to desserts and coffee.  Then, we went on the search to find me a new sweatshirt.  In the rain.  It was not so pleasant, so it was good I found a cool one quickly.  We spent the rest of the night packing up. 

I love vacations.  I love going to the beach.  I hate going home.  WAAAAAAAAHH!!! Ah well, back to reality!   

An Army Birthday

Let's take a break from the depressing, frustrating, and sad journey of infertility and complete molar pregnancies, shall we?  Instead, let's celebrate. 

Builder Boy turned 5 last week.  We had a great day on his actual birthday.  It was a day devoted all to him.  We played, had lunch with my parents, went to Build a Bear (I love that place!!), shopped for some camouflage shorts for his party, went to Toys R Us to use his birthday coupon, ate McDona.ld's for dinner, got Rita's for a bedtime snack...in a kid's world, it was a perfect day! 

On Sunday, we had his birthday party-it was an Army theme.  We made paper airplanes and had a contest to see whose would fly the farthest.  We made camouflage necklaces and had an army guy scavenger hunt.  The kids beat up an army tank pinata, then pillaged the porch for the pinata candy.  Builder Boy got a ton of nice presents (his friends were so generous!) that we are still opening today. 

I tried my hand at a Hummer cake...let me know what you think:

 

The inside, which was also camouflage:

 

Happy Birthday, Builder Boy!  You are my greatest accomplishment and a true gift from God.  I thank Him everyday for sending you to us.  I hope your 5th birthday was one to remember!

I Can't Stop...

eating.  You thought I was going to say crying, didn't you?  Surprisingly, no.  I am by nature a crier-when sad, mad, or laughing hysterically, but for some reason, I'm all dried up over the lost pregnancy.  I don't really want to talk about it with people, because what do you say?  What can they say?  So I eat.

During the very short-lived pregnancy, I found myself ravenous...I had a hunger that literally could not be filled.  I was eating us out of house and home and I couldn't help it.  When we sensed danger lurking around the corner, I decided that if this pregnancy went south, I would gorge myself on Doritos and Dr. Pepper....and I have...over and over and over again. 

I know this isn't healthy.  I know this isn't the way to be eating.  But I can't help thinking of how well I was eating during the pregnancy, and that didn't do a darn thing to save the pregnancy.  So, I am giving myself this week.  I can eat what I want, when I want and how much I want.  After this upcoming weekend, I will go back to eating in moderation and relatively healthful foods. 

For now, though, anyone care to join me for a bag of Doritos?

A Plan That Works

I'm a meal planner...are you?  I get this household technique not from TLC or HGTV...not from the organization gurus who have popped up all over this country.  Nope.  Instead, I got this from the best homemaker in the world-my mom.  My mom was the queen of planning without ever making a single list.  After I was in third grade, my mom went back to work.  In order for her to continue feeding us well, she would spend her Sundays in the kitchen, preparing meals for the week.  Some that were partially cooked, others that were fully cooked.  Once we were old enough, it was the responsibility of my sister and I to get dinner ready.  While I won't lie that as a child, the last thing I wanted to do was heat up a meal, I can appreciate now the amount of care and planning that went into each week's meals.  And we rarely ate out.

When I was single, I ate out or ate frozen boxed dinners a lot.  On rare occasion, I would make a lasagna and then have it for weeks, freezing single sized portions.  While I did get tired of eating the same thing, it was nice to come home to a "home-cooked" meal. Once married, I transferred this planning/freezing idea the meals for my husband.  The novelty of having someone to cook for created a fun environment for me to try out new dishes and food.  We still ate out a lot, but at least a few times a week, we would have a home-cooked meal.  (On a side note, this is the time period when my love for making soup became very intense.) 

When Builder Boy came around, at first we ate at the mercy of those who made us dinner or take-out.  Once back to my "normal" new mom self, I realized that the only way we would ever eat anything at home was if I planned ahead of time.  And so I did. 

Now, every week on Saturday, I plan out our meals for the week Sunday through Saturday.  I pull out one recipe box and a couple of cookbooks.  I try to do one red meat, one pork, one chicken, one pasta or vegetarian, one seafood and Friday is usually pizza day (except for now during Lent...it's Fish Fry day-support our church and uphold a sacrifice to not eat meat).  On Sunday, I go to the grocery store and buy those things I need for that week and only the things I need.  I go directly after Sunday brunch-this way, I am in no way hungry when entering the store.  We do allow ourselves one lunch and one dinner out each week-it's kind of like dieting...if you take away everything you love, you'll crave it even more.  Now, we get a taste of it (and one lunch is much cheaper than a dinner) and still have the benefits of home-cooking.

Meal planning is some sanity for me in a very chaotic world.  I like doing it, it makes me feel good, and I never have to think at 5:00 PM-what should I  make for dinner?  So what do you think?  Do you meal plan?  What are some of your meal planning tips?

Planting a Seed

Today, after a rather gloomy beginning, the weather cleared up enough for us to be outside, re-acquainting ourselves with neighbors, watching the kids play, and planning for upcoming spring projects.  I have always wanted a big garden, and this is my year!  We are, in rather bad taste, calling this our Depression garden.  In recent years, I have been learning how to can, each year a different type of canning, so it only makes sense to grow my own veggies.  I have been given mass amounts of canning jars, so all that is left is planning the garden itself.

That's where you come in...I'd like to know what, besides tomatoes and herbs, are good to put in a garden.  I'd like any variety of bean, maybe a squash, a cucumber. some potatoes.  What do you think?  What advice could you give this budding gardener (pun intended...)?  I'm 'hoe'-pul you can help.

You might want to give some advice just to stop the horrible garden puns...

Super Sunday, or the Last Hurrah

I made a decision in early January to begin eating healthfully again.  I have gained weight.  I feel gross.  I look gross.  I am eating everything in my sights.  But, with Dad's stroke, I was eating on the fly constantly.  I knew it would have to wait just a week or two.  Then, the Steelers got into the playoffs.  If there's one thing we know how to do in Pittsburgh, it's throwing a football party.  So, I made a decision that I would start eating better after football season.  I didn't want to curse the Steelers, so I didn't say anything until Polamalu caught that interception in the last four minutes of the AFC Championship. At that point, I turned to my family and laid in on the line.  Superbowl Sunday would be my last hurrah with food.

I love appetizers.  Chips, dip, pepperoni rolls, M & Ms.  It's all great.  I'm not so good at eating in moderation at parties with these foods.  Give me a bowl of buffalo chicken dip and some celery or crackers, and it's over.  Potato chips with french onion dip?  Back away from the bowl please!  Add one cold beer for the perfect finish.  I know these foods are terrible, but they taste so good! 

It just didn't make sense to me to start trying to eat better when I knew a table of temptation stood before me.  I'm enjoying this last week of eating junk.  I'm cleaning out the cupboards of the chocolate and chips and cheeses.  I'm savoring each last bite of fatty goodness.  I'm determined to make some changes and go back to last summer when I was eating natural, unprocessed foods in moderation.  I felt good and I was starting to look good.

So, no matter what happens on Sunday, no matter who wins the game, it will be my last day of eating like I had the metabolism of a teenager.  Monday starts a whole new season for more.

Pictures of Myself

A few days ago, while dusting the living room,(yeah, I know!!! That alone is breaking news...Renovation Girl dusted?!), I dusted some photos that we have on our end tables.  The majority of our house is a picture shrine of Builder Boy (because let's face it, he's a cutie!), but I do try to intersperse pictures of myself, Remodel Man and some close friends.  One particularly beautiful picture is of Remodel Man and me in front of a local restaurant/bed and breakfast during the fall.  The backdrop is a lush green as we stand in a bed thick with the colors of fall.  It's really a nice picture. 

Then I noticed the two of us...standing there, looking so...young.  It was probably ten years ago, but really, we look soooooooooo young.   And good.  We looked really  nice.  At the time, I was working for a major fashion retailer and I was headed to work after that picture was taken.  I looked so stylish.  My hair was colored to perfection, styled with care, makeup applied and chosen carefully, clothes classic, but stylish, and shoes to die for.  And I was so thin.  Flat stomach, only one chin, and tiny little ankles.

DUDE, where the heck did that person go????  Is it just a natural progression?  Is is motherhood?  Is it exhaustion?  Is it infertility?  I'm guessing it's all of the above.  My  metabolism has slowed.  I'm working more jobs now and have more responsibility at home than ever before.  Infertility has assisted in my weight gain, as did hypothyroidism (we won't discuss the chips and chocolate).  Motherhood has caused me to care less about my appearance than that of my child.  I can't afford to have my hair professionally colored.  When I buy clothes, they are a size boys 5 at Gym.boree and The Chil.dren's Pl.ace.  Life has changed.

For the most part, I am relatively content with my life.  It's busy, we don't have enough money, blah blah blah.  But, looking at the picture and seeing myself ten years ago made me sad for the person I was.  I need to make some adjustments-health-wise, spiritually, and culturally.  I need to lose a little bit of weight, eat better, and exercise.  I need to spend  more time with my friends.  I need to attend more cultural events.  I need to organize my life and manage my time better.  I need to get caught up on Builder Boy's scrapbook.  I need to start realizing that I am more than a mother or a teacher or a wife, but a blend of all three. 

This is a tall order.  I am not one for New Year's resolutions since I rarely keep up with them.  However, this year, I do need to make some changes. I can't make them all at once, but I do need to do a little bit.  Not sure of the plan, but something needs to happen.

Care to join me?

Gobble, Gobble!

Taking a break from cooking to post...No, I don't have Thanksgiving at my house (I refuse...can't stand the whole bird thing), but I am taking four different things to the in-laws, so here I am cooking.  It smells like fresh baked bread and homemade cranberry sauce-yum!!

Tons of posts in my head and some on paper (yes, really, paper...you know that stuff they make from trees...), but no time to write them.  My second job is finally coughing up some hours for me, so all "free" time is spent working.  Remember that organized high I was on just a week or two ago-GONE!  I forgot how exhausting it is to work the two jobs.  I am on the computer until late each night, up to work, then back on the computer.  Blah!!  Now, if I were reading blogs, that would be fun, but I'm grading and doing the whole teacher thing.  Not as fun...

Builder Boy has been a champ as I work these hours.  He's been playing independently a bit and trying hard to be patient.  Really, what more could I ask for?  He's working on his issues at four-this is progress. 

I've been hesitant to discuss our recent visits with a child psychologist...First, because I was scared.  I was scared that I totally screwed this kid up with my horrible mothering.  Then I was terrified that something truly horrible was the matter with him.  I know many of you are shaking your head and saying, "What is she talking about?"  For now, just know that we have had some issues with behavior with Builder Boy...normal if they weren't quite so common, explosive, and unexpected.  He's hasn't been a happy kid and for those reasons, we took him.  Friday Remodel Man and I meet for the diagnosis, so if you're the praying type, would you mind sending a few up for Builder Boy?  I'd appreciate it.

Back to cooking...next stop green bean casserole!    Does anyone else remember those sing-songy commercials for green bean casserole?  The one where someone opens the door and every person brings a green bean casserole?  "I brought the gr-e-e-n    b-e-a-n     CAS-s-e-role!" 

If you're in the States, Happy Thanksgiving!  If you're not, Happy November 27th! 

This Is Why...

Remember when you had your first drinking episode and you woke up the next morning and thought you could die?  Remember how you said, "I will never do that again," yet you did do that again and again and again and again? 

Yeah.  I remember.  All too well, I remember. 

Remodel Man's 20th high school reunion was this weekend.  It was a weekend extravaganza ending with a party at the Hard Rock Cafe in the town where he went to school.  It was a great time and I was surprised by how nice everyone was.  I kind of thought it would be like high school all over again with all the little groups and such, but it wasn't.  Everyone seemed truly interested in how their classmates were doing. 

Being a spouse and knowing no one was a bit awkard, but the open bar helped.  A lot.  Maybe a little too much.  And I am paying for it.  I am remembering why I don't drink much.  And how much more difficult it is to get over a night of drinking when you have a kid.  (Thank God for the television.) 

And just so you know, I am never doing that again...