Hi there. Here I am! A horribly bad blogger. A horribly overwhelmed human being. A horrible person who at this very moment in time should be doing 10 other things, but I figured I'd better get something up here or I'd lose all of my readers (all five of you!). Since eloquence has gone out the window only to be replaced with incoherence and exhaustion, I will leave you snippets of my life right now.
The reasons I am a bad blogger:
1. Last year, I had 44 students at one job and 23 students at my other job. This year, I have 87 students at one job and 115 at my other job. Um, yeah....
2. Builder Boy is in first grade...it's going to kill me.
3. We have at least 7 projects going on at the moment...all need to be finished and there is only one Remodel Man and no money or time.
4. I took a good look at our finances the other day. If you're me, I don't recommend doing this.
5. I have a new boss at my job...this person does not have any education experience. It's comical, and sad, and a very public situation.
6. I am begging for technology for my classroom...and by technology, I mean an overhead projector that works. Hello, 1978! (I'd love a VHS that works, too, but really, that would be way to 1985 for us!)
7. My brain is mush.
8. I realized the other day that if I died tomorrow, I would die unhappy, and that would make me even unhappier. (Yea, I get it, I'd be dead and all, but you know what I mean.).
9. My prayers have gone from asking for help and guidance to downright begging. I'm thinking the Lord thinks I'm kind of pathetic.
10. Pregnant women and babies are all around me...I'm doing mostly well with it. Mostly. Well, sort of okay. Okay, let's just say that all those years of acting are an immense help to me right now.
11. I am gaining weight. I'm flabbergasted by this. Yet, I won't stop eating.
I cannot tell you how many times I have opened up my Compose Post page, filled with words and thoughts and ideas, only to close in back up in fear. Fear of what? No idea, but I close up once I actually commit to writing. I think it's partly because I've said it all before...there's no new ideas in there. I live the same day, month, year, over and over again, and frankly put, it's depressing. So very many of my blog friends are joyful where they are in their lives and I don't want to rain on their parade. So I don't write. And yet I want to. But I don't. ARRRRGHH!!!
I'm still here and hoping that this post will open the floodgates. That I will make time to write. But this school year is kicking my butt, so all I can promise is that I'll do my best.
Oh my goodness - I'm tired just reading that! I had one year where I had 250ish students and it was brutal!
Posted by: Heidi | September 25, 2011 at 10:28 PM
Good luck - I hope you get the strength you need at this time.
Posted by: mizasiwa | September 26, 2011 at 03:59 AM
You, a bad blogger? I was just thinking what a horrible, awful blog pal *I* am. Here I am checking in with you and discovering (with shame) all that you've been through lately and all that I missed. I'm sorry friend (if you'll have me) and vow to do better.
I know that it's often a day-to-day kind of thing, but I hope you are well.
Posted by: Stacey | September 30, 2011 at 12:58 AM